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Often I wonder if I am “qualified” to offer any type of marriage advice. The first marriage ended in divorce, and looking back it lacked a few import things…Even now I am not married…

I have lived with my Significant Other for over 12 years. (longer than my 1st marriage of 9 years) – so though we are not “married” I view us more married than when I was actually married…

I believe marriage must have love – yes this is a given, and almost a DUH, but honestly, my first marriage lacked true, honest love. There was I don’t want to be alone love. There was the spouse was injured so I must love. Then there was the no one else could possibly want me, so I should love you. It should be the I don’t want to live without you love. 

I believe marriage should have respect. Respect for the person, respect for who they are, respect for what they believe, respect for what they do. 

I believe marriage should be full of compromises on both sides. Love is a give and take and there are more times that you will give.

I believe marriage should be full of compassion. Loving the one you are with, loving who they are and being able to give them love when you feel they don’t deserve. Compassion is knowing your significant other is hurt – mentally or physically, or upset and any anger you may have towards them flee’s the instant you see the pain. 

I believe marriage is being submissive. This took me years to truly understand, to truly realize, and to truly get God’s meaning here. Finally 14 years after ending my first marriage, I view submission totally different thanks to God. 

I believe marriage is constantly a work in progress and is far from easy. There will always be the moments when you reached your point, the tough seasons, the season of change, but each of these bringing you closer and closer to where God wants you to be..

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