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Have you ever heard a song that made you think of someone else? Or perhaps a part of your past? Sometimes you hear a song, listen to the lyrics and wonder…and why did I like this song??! There are some 80’s music that I often wonder….

The other day “Better than I use to be” by Tim McGraw came on the radio. I’d hear the song and it would make me think of my significant other. This day particular day I heard this song, all I could think of was myself. Let me tell you, God and I have had some talks lately, some rounds, some doubts, some questions, some eye opening, some discipline, some fear and despite my doubts some strong faith…

“I aint no angel, I still got a few more dances with the devil I’m cleaning up my act little by little, I’m getting there….I aint as good as I’m gonna get But I’m better than I used to be.” “I’ve pinned a lot of demons to the ground I’ve got a few old habits left”

It seems like the past year or so, I have been fighting my own demons, had dances with the devil, and at times it feels like a never ending battle. Its more than just a constant barrage of bad things happening, the constant rain, its more the battle of one’s belief, one’s faith, and ones doubts…It has been a lesson of learning to simply let go and let God, which has been the hardest part of all.

I have realized going straight to God is the 1st place I need to go. Yet it’s a lesson I relearn constantly. Oh I know God could do it, but let me just try!! I wish I could become instantly frugal with money or at least win a million and not worry about it! I wish I had the drive eat & exercise to be a healthy person. I wish I had my act together, but I don’t…

So step by step (forwards & back), I am cleaning up my act. I am not as good as I’m gonna get, but I am better than I used to be.