Well the last week I have just let go, given most to God. Yeah there is still a part of me that is hesitant, and I know God wants all of us, but will take each part we give. Money lately has been the issue (like always), but I am working on that…
Last night I realized that my 1st day of classes for a master’s degree, would not be my first day. I had been dropped from the class…owing money, not completing the financial check in… a few things I did on my own lead me right down this path. So right now, unless $4,000 magically appears, my education will be put on hold. I am 4 classes away, but its OK. Last night I just said “OK God, I will trust in you.” My initial thought would have been I could figure something out…of course try to find more loans, and go further into debt…Yet surprisingly I didn’t and I wasn’t even upset… I knew this was coming so my education path is in God’s hands and I will sit in the passenger seat. There is a small part that is like really…can’t I just finish this? With my masters I could do….Yet a larger part that is like OK God, what’s the plan?
“I don’t know where to go from here It all used to seem so clear I’m finding I can’t do this on my own…..I’m done fighting, I’m finally letting go.” – I have so many paths I am trying to go, its rather ridiculous…Master’s in Accounting, Possible CPA, Possible EA, running a business, clients. I believe this has just lead to me constantly being unfocused, feeling overwhelmed. So many paths…All I can think of “Jack of all trades, master of none” – that will be me if I don’t just stop, quit the fighting, letting go and Let God!
So the past few days this has been playing over and over “If there’s a road I should walk, Help me find it, If I need to be still, Give me peace for the moment, Whatever Your will, Whatever Your will, Can you help me find it, Can you help me find It, I lift my empty hands (come fill me up again), Have Your way my King (I give my all to You), I lift my eyes again (Was blind but now I see), ‘Cause You are all I need”
We believe we know our path, we know “for sure” the direction we are to go and take, the road we are totally supposed to go down. Sometimes we have to simply let go of our expectations, our goals, and our desires and simply sit patiently in the passenger seat.
Take a moment or two and simply listen. Listen for the quiet still voice of God and realize it will more than likely not be your way…